


Don't You Oppress Me!

by Gottingen



Category: Monty Python RPF, Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979)
Genre: Canon Trans Character, Conflict, Gender Dysphoria, Humor, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26936212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gottingen/pseuds/Gottingen
Summary: At one point, Reg gives up his own struggle against reality.
Relationships: Reg/Loretta
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	Don't You Oppress Me!

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I just liked the character of Loretta a lot and wanted to write something about her. And why Reg? Honestly, I don't know, I just love John Cleese, he's amazing. Not that any other Python isn't amazing.
> 
> English is not my native language, so I'm sorry for all the mistakes. I would appreciate if you point out any of them.

"Where have you been, Stan?"

Stan looked at Reg with a deeply offended expression, pursed his lips, and proudly turned away, lifting his chin a little.

"Stan," Reg said, raising his voice just a bit, but it was enough — Reg's low timbre was impressive, even if he spoke calmly and in a quiet voice.

"We went together to get our throats wet, Reg," Judith answered for Stan, and then she moved closer to Reg, who towered over all of them like a mountain. Judith hissed angrily, furrowing her black bushy brows, "Now he is Loretta, and it is her inalienable right that we, her brothers and sisters in our struggle against the oppressors, recognize her as a person she feels herself to be—"

"Oh my God, Judith," Reg said, rolling his eyes. "Do you and Francis take this whim seriously? No matter how much he will call himself Loretta, it wouldn't turn his penis into a womb..." However, seeing that Judith was very angry with his words, Reg decided to change the subject. "By the way, how's the new guy, Brian?"

As he spoke to Judith, Reg kept returning his gaze to Stan. The man started slightly at the sound of Brian's name, and it seemed to Reg that there was a faint blush on Stan's beautiful tanned cheekbones. That was enough — Reg felt himself losing the thread of the conversation, as he always did when his gaze lingered on Stan for too long. And there was a lot to feel utterly lost: that proud, slender profile, the glossy, perfectly coifed brown curls, artfully waved and falling to the shoulders — any woman would have envied them — the sharp lines of dark eyebrows, long lashes, sensual lips, now and then revealing large pearly white teeth… And hands! Stan's hands were a work of art that the Romans with their stupid statues of naked bloks and wenches never dreamed of. Thin wrists — on the right one a massive silver bracelet, only more accentuating the fragility and grace of this divine tanned hand, long fingers that Reg often tried to imagine exploring his body...

He had to cough to wake up from his daydream.

"Thank you, Judith. I'll go talk to Sta— to Loretta, to Loretta."

Reg was far from judging Stan, but as a man who was used to think logically and rationally, he was shocked by the absurdity of the statement Stan had made this morning in the amphitheater. Stan wants to be treated like a woman... well, that's acceptable. Stan wants _to be_ a woman — that's harder. But why on earth does he need the right to have babies if he can't have them actually?

"Stan—" Stan's blue-gray eyes glittered with cold metal, and Reg had to make an effort to gain himself together. "Listen, _sister_ , I want to talk to you."

"What should we talk about, brother?"

There was the same cold, metallic note in Sta— oh, blimey, in Loretta's voice, but he— she— well, one of the most active members of the People's Front of Judea folded her arms and lowered her head, and Reg had to admit that the gesture and Loretta's whole appearance were extremely feminine.

Reg didn't answer the question, but suggested, "Shall we go outside? It's a bit noisy here."

There was indeed the usual crowd in the PFJ headquarters, the brothers in struggle (there was only one sister among them until today, Judith) were arguing violently, but, as usual, in the end they always agreed that they hated the Judean People's Front, the People's Popular Front of Judea and the Popular Front of Judea as well — fucking splitters. After such discussions, none of the disputants usually had the strength or desire to speak out about their hatred of bloody Romans.

"So what did you want to talk to me about, Reg?"

In the moonlight, Stan— Loretta was especially beautiful. The shadows from her curls, from her veil, fell fancifully on her long face, and her eyes glittered like silver. Reg sighed inwardly, thinking how soft those silky curls must be, but outwardly his rock-like face didn't move a muscle.

"About what happened this morning. I may have been rude…"

_Yes, you brought him — her, damn it! — to tears with that rhetorical question about where the fetus is going to gestate (will she keep it in a box?)..._

"If you want to consider yourself a woman, feel free, but understand, you will never really become one."

Stan's— Loretta's pretty face — ah, what fucking difference does it make? — twisted in an obvious fit of annoyance.

"Don't! You! Oppress! Me!" Stan snapped, and took a step forward, clearly intending to leave Reg here in the company of his mixed thoughts, but a sudden stone grip on his frail wrists stopped him. "Reg, this isn't funny. It really hurts, I don't like it..." Reg let go of his hands instantly, and then Stan stared at him, completely confused, gently rubbing and flexing his wrists. "What's going on, Reg? Why is my simple desire causing you such rejection and even aggression?" the metallic gleam was gone from those eyes, they were softened and, Reg thought, almost filled with tears again. "I want to be a woman. I want to have babies, my own babies, born out of my womb — oh, yes, of course I don't have any womb. I know it's impossible," Stan's voice trembled faintly. "But at least Judith and Francis are willing to accept my right to do so, but you..."

When the tirade hung in the air, ending in a silent reproach, Reg couldn't stand it anymore. He literally hated himself for bringing tears to those beautiful eyes again, and to be honest, he was tired. He was tired of struggling against reality, tired of exactly what he accused Stan today. And the reality was that Reg was crazy about those eyes and curls and hands; that he was in love with this man — or woman — or a man who wanted to be a woman. That's why he put his heavy hands on Loretta's shoulders, leaned down to be level with her confused face, and touched her lips with his own, searching and longing. Loretta's lips were as hot as sand under the scorching sun of Judea, but to Reg it was still like a long-awaited drink of water.

Loretta's mouth dropped open in shock when Reg forced himself to pull away from it. The silvery eyes were full of wonder. Reg noticed, however, that Loretta's slender hand twitched in an effort to rest on his broad chest. "You want to make fun of me, don't you?" there was a distinct note of self-doubt in her voice.

"No. No, Loretta. I don't want to make fun of you, I just—" Reg took a deep breath. He was a poor speaker when it came to love. "I had the misfortune to fall in love with you, even before you declared your desire to be a woman. And that's why it always annoyed me that you were constantly talking about women — it must have been jealousy. I didn't know that you—"

Loretta stared at him in silence, and suddenly a small smile lit up her face, and then a chuckle escaped her lips.

"This is the last thing I expected from you, Reg. No, seriously, I couldn't imagine you falling in love with anyone—" she stopped abruptly, and suddenly, as if belatedly feeling a surge of embarrassment and shame, she ran her fingers through her curls and covered her face with them. However, there was also something subtly flirtatious in this gesture — it seemed that Loretta simply did not know how to behave with a man, and especially with a man who was in love with her.

"Do you fancy men at all, Loretta?" that was the sudden thought that crossed Reg's mind. Loretta's wistful yet slightly sly gaze didn't make him feel any better.

"Let's assume so. Some of them."

Reg's throat went dry. For some reason, he remembered how Loretta blushed when she heard Brian's name.

"Well… I should have been more specific… Would you fancy me?"

Instead of replying, Loretta slightly touched Reg's chest with her delicate fingers, glanced down uncertainly, and then suddenly pulled away and went up a few steps to the PFJ headquarters.

"Loretta?" Reg called out to her in confusion, feeling like a complete idiot. "You didn't answer my question!"

At the top of the stairs, Loretta stopped and turned to look at him.

"Don't rush me, Reg. I need time to think this through… But I think I'd like to have your babies."

And with a big grin, she disappeared behind the door.

**Author's Note:**

> I left a few hints on Loretta/Brian, because I started writing about them at first, but I'm not sure I'll finish it. And also I saw Francis/Loretta tag on AO3 (but no fics, unfortunately), now I wonder what do you think about these ships? :)


End file.
